by P. Hulsey | Dec 31, 2014 | A, blog, Uncategorized
ADULTERY
DEFINITION: Adultery is sexual intercourse with someone other than your lawful spouse. It is sin and a flagrant violation of the covenant of marriage.
FACTS ABOUT ADULTERY:
Adultery has many negative consequences. Broken homes, unwanted pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases, and negative emotions like guilt, fear, shame, and anxiety.
Adultery is sin. According to the Bible, adultery is sin and stems from your own selfish desires. It is not a “weakness”. It is not an “affair”. It is sin, because God says it is sin. The very thought of it by lusting is sin (Matthew 5:27-28).
God’s plan is one man and one woman for life. “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate”(Matthew 19:4-6).
DEALING WITH ADULTERY:
Reject lustful thoughts. Lusting after someone is considered the same as adultery (Matthew 5:27-28). Adultery begins in the mind.
Avoid temptation. Avoid compromising situations that put you in a place of temptation, alone with a handsome man or a beautiful woman. If you are never alone with someone of the opposite sex who is not your spouse, adultery will probably not become an issue.
Confess adultery as sin. “He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy” (Proverbs 28:13).
Break ungodly relationships. Break the relationship with your adulterous partner. Make a total break: No more communication in any form. “Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you. I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty” (2 Corinthians6:17-18).
Seek forgiveness from those you have wronged. This would include your spouse and your adulterous partner.
Ask God to restore your marriage. If both parties are willing–with the help of God–your marriage can be restored. If you are the offender, you must realize that your spouse may opt not to take you back. You must be prepared to face this possibility and graciously accept it if it happens.
WHAT GOD’S WORD SAYS ABOUT ADULTERY:
Do not have sexual relations with your neighbor’s wife and defile yourself with her. (Leviticus 18:20)
You shall not commit adultery. (Deuteronomy 5:18)
The eye of the adulterer watches for dusk; he thinks, “No eye will see me,” and he keeps his face concealed. (Job 24:15)
The lips of an adulteress drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil; but in the end she is bitter gall, sharp as a double-edged sword.. Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave. (Proverbs 5:3 and 5)
Keep to a path far from her, do not go near the door of her house, lest you give your best strength to others and your years to one who is cruel, lest strangers feast on your wealth and your toil enrich another man’s house. (Proverbs 5:8-10)
Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress? Why embrace the bosom of another man’s wife? For a man’s ways are in full view of the Lord, and he examines all his paths. The evil deeds of a wicked man ensnare him; the cords of his sin hold him fast. (Proverbs 5:20-22)
Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched? So is he who sleeps with another man’s wife; no one who touches her will go unpunished…A man who commits adultery lacks judgment; whoever does so destroys himself. (Proverbs 6:27-29 and 32)
Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,” and call understanding your kinsman; they will keep you from the adulteress, from the wayward wife with her seductive words. (Proverbs 7:4-5)
The mouth of an adulteress is a deep pit; he who is under the Lord’s wrath will fall into it. (Proverbs 22:14)
This is the way of an adulteress: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, “I’ve done nothing wrong.” (Proverbs 30:20)
I supplied all their needs, yet they committed adultery and thronged to the houses of prostitutes. (Jeremiah 5:7)
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Mathew 5:27-28)
“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” (Matthew 19:4-6)
Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.(1 Corinthians 6:9-11)
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. (1 Corinthians 6:18-20)
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. (Hebrews 13:4)
With eyes full of adultery, they never stop sinning; they seduce the unstable; they are experts in greed an accursed brood! (2 Peter 2:14)
(See also “Promiscuity” in this data base.)
by P. Hulsey | Dec 31, 2014 | A, blog, D, G, S, Uncategorized
ADDICTIONS
(Drug, Alcohol, Gambling, Sexual)
DEFINITION: People with addictions have lost control over what they think, what they do, or what they ingest into their bodies. The term “addiction” can be applied to harmful substances such as drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes. It can also be applied to harmful behaviors such as compulsive gambling, sex, or mutilating your own body. People can also develop addictions to things that in themselves are not harmful–such as food, hobbies, sports, etc.–but that are addictions when used in uncontrolled excesses.
FACTS ABOUT ADDICTION:
So you think you aren’t addicted? If you answer yes to any of the following questions, you need help:
-Are you using drugs other than those required and prescribed for medical reasons?
-Can you get through the week without using alcohol or drugs?
-Has your drug/alcohol abuse interfered with relationships with your parents, children, spouse,relatives, or friends?
-Has your drug/alcohol use caused you to miss days at work or school?
-Have you been dismissed from school, a job, school, or other positions due to drug/alcohol use?
-Have you had a fight when under the influence of alcohol or a drug?
-Have you done anything illegal in order to obtain alcohol or drugs?
-Have you been arrested for possession of illegal drugs?
-Have you been arrested for driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol?
-Have you had medical problems (like memory loss, hepatitis, convulsions, blackouts, flashbacksetc.) as a result of using drugs or alcohol?
-Do you feel sick when you try to stop using drugs or alcohol?
You are a slave to whatever controls you. “A man is a slave to whatever has mastered him” (2 Peter 2:19).
You cannot please God if you are controlled by addictions. “Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God. You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you” (Romans 8:8-9).
Anything that harms your body spiritually, mentally, or physically is sin. The Bible declares: “Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in you? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him; for God’s temple is sacred, and you are that temple” (1 Corinthians 3:16-17) . Your body is a temple and you should treat it as a sanctuary.
Addictions cause you to lose control. When you are under the influence of an addiction, you lose control of your will, your body, and your mental processes. If you are not in control and God is not in control, guess who is? Your enemy, Satan.
Drugs are related to sorcery. Revelation 18:23 speaks of the “sorceries” of evil men. The Greek word for sorceries is “pharmakeia”, meaning “enchantment with drugs”. Revelation 9:21 indicates that those that do not repent of their “sorceries” (enchantment with drugs) cannot enter the Kingdom of God.
Legitimate drugs, when not abused, are not sinful. Every good gift comes from God, and legitimate medications are gifts that help restore health and alleviate pain.
There are many kinds of addictions. A person can be addicted to food, drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, or pornography. One may also be addicted to an activity that in itself is not wrong, but because of overindulgence in it becomes wrong.
God wants you free from all addictions. “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery” (Galatians 5:1).
DEALING WITH ADDICTION:
Admit that your addiction is sin. As long as you refuse to admit your addiction, you will be unable to deal with it. “He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy” (Proverbs 28:13).
Cut the root, kill the fruit. Addiction is a surface manifestation of a deeper need or problem in your life. Think about why you take drugs, drink, smoke, gamble, etc.? Do you feel better about yourself when you do it? Do you do it to try to escape heartache and difficulties in your life? Whether it be heartache, difficulties, or negative emotions, etc., cut the root that is supporting your habit and you will kill the fruit–the addiction itself.
Ask God for deliverance. Pray not only about your addiction, but the root causes behind it–your hurt, pain, rejection issues, etc. Rebuke any generational spirits that would foster addictions. Bind the spirit of addiction from operating in your life: “I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven” (Matthew 18:18). Renew your mind by the Word, prayer, and meditation.
Seek biblical rehabilitation. If you need assistance in dealing with your addiction, find a biblical rehabilitation center or program. The Salvation Army, Teen Challenge, Dream Centers, and Celebrate Recovery are excellent biblically-based programs.
Resist the devil. “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you…” (James 4:7-8a). You resist the devil and his temptations by prayer and the Word of God which enables you to draw near to God. You are not resisting the devil when you have cigarettes or drugs in your pocket just “in case it doesn’t work” and you need them. Use your access to God to secure help in time of need (Hebrews 4:15-16).
Change your lifestyle. Do not hang out with people who use drugs or alcohol. Do not frequent parties or places where drugs or alcohol are used or gambling is done. Do not watch television programs that promote drugs, alcohol, gambling, etc. through either the screenplay or advertising. Do not return again to the bondage of addiction (Galatians 5:1).
Form a support network. Form a personal support network of people who have successfully recovered from addictions and can help you do the same. Celebrate Recovery and Teen Challenge provide excellent Christian support networks for addictions.
Know that you will be tempted. Temptation is common when overcoming an addiction, but you can overcome it in the power of the Lord. When you are tempted by the enemy to engage in your habit again remember that… “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it” (1 Corinthians 10:13). There is always a way out. Take it!
Remember that you never fail until you quit trying. If you return to your addiction, do not give up in defeat. Ask God to forgive you and strengthen you to take control over the addiction, then begin again. Rather than condemning yourself, think about ways you can respond better next time you are tempted.
WHAT GOD’S WORD SAYS ABOUT ADDICTION:
I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. (John 8:34-35)
For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. (Romans 7:18)
For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do–this I keep doing…What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! (Romans 7:19 and 24-25)
Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God. You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. (Romans 8:8-9)
For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. (Romans 8:13-14)
Clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature. (Romans 13:14)
Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in you? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him; for God’s temple is sacred, and you are that temple. (1 Corinthians 3:16-17)
Everything is permissible for me-but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible for me-but I will not be mastered by anything. (1 Corinthians 6:12)
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)
So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. (1 Corinthians 10:31)
For we are the temple of the living God. (2 Corinthians 6:16)
Let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God. (2 Corinthians 7:1)
Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage … For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another. (Galatians 5:1,13)
So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of a sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. (Galatians 5:16-17)
And be not drunk with wine (or high on other drugs), wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit. (Ephesians 5:18)
Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.(Colossians 3:1-5)
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are–yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. (Hebrews 4:15-16)
A man is a slave to whatever has mastered him. (2 Peter 2:19)
(See also “Alcoholism” and “Habits” in this database.)
by P. Hulsey | Dec 31, 2014 | A, blog, C, D, S, Uncategorized
ABUSE
(Domestic, Child, Sexual)
DEFINITION: Abuse is mistreatment of another person. It includes child abuse, spousal abuse, physical, emotional, mental, and sexual abuse. The term also applies to the misuse of legitimate authority, for example a government official or religious leader who abuses their power.
FACTS ABOUT ABUSE:
Abuse takes many forms. It may be domestic abuse, child abuse, sexual abuse, or physical, emotional, and mental abuse.
Abuse is not tolerated in God’s Kingdom. Certain types of abuse–such as domestic abuse–is permitted in some countries, but we are not citizens of the nation in which we live. We are citizens of the Kingdom of God, and we are governed by God’s laws that prohibit any kind of abuse.
Abuse is against the law in the US and many other nations. See God’s mandates regarding believers abiding by the law in Romans 13:1-3; 1 Peter 2:13-14; and Luke 17:2.
Abuse is against God’s law. One of the two greatest commandments is to love others (Matthew 22:37-39). Abuse is not love.
Abuse can be learned behavior–for example, a person sees their Dad abuse their Mom and models similar abuse in their own relationships.
Causes of abuse. The root cause behind abuse is often uncontrolled anger. It also stems from a low self-image which makes a person abuse others to try to elevate their own status.
Abusers tend to justify their behavior. They blame others for making them so angry that they are forced to respond in this manner.
DEALING WITH ABUSE:
If you are being abused, remove yourself from the situation. Remaining in an abusive situation may cost your life or that of your child. In many nations, you are legally responsible for removing a child from an abusive environment. Move in with a relative or friend or seek help from a Christian shelter. If you are being abused by an employer, seek a new job. If you are experiencing abuse by a spiritual leader, find a new church.
If you are the abuser, admit your problem. As long as you are in denial, you cannot change.
Ask God for forgiveness if you have abused someone. Abuse in any form is a sin and violates God’s law of loving others (Matthew 22:37-39).
Ask forgiveness of those you have abused. God requires it. Your own gifts, prayers, and worship won’t be accepted until you do this: “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift” (Matthew 5:23-24).
If you tend to be abusive, ask God to develop the Fruit of the Spirit in your life. Love, patience, and self control will replace your abusive behavior.
If you have suffered abuse, the first step towards healing is to acknowledge that the abuse happened. Maybe your abuser warned you not to tell anyone, or maybe your family didn’t believe you when you told them what happened. Healing starts when you admit the truth about the abuse, whether or not others believe you. As you admit the abuse, you may experience feelings of confusion, hurt, blame, and shame. You might be tempted to drown those feelings with alcohol, drugs, food, anger or sexual addictions. Instead, replace these negative thoughts with the truth of God’s Word. God made you in His image (Genesis 1:27). He loves you so much that He sent His only Son to die for you (John 3:16). He has a plan to give you a future and a hope. Admit that what was done to you was wrong, sinful acts committed by sinful people, Whether or not you are able to confront your abuser, you must forgive them. When anger or shameful thoughts over past abuse try to return to your mind, reject these immediately. You will never have a future as long as you are living in the past.
WHAT GOD’S WORD SAYS ABOUT ABUSE:
Abuse in general.
Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself .'” (Matthew 22:37-39)
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. (Galatians 5:22-23a)
Sexual abuse.
No one is to approach any close relative to have sexual relations. (Leviticus 18:6)
Do not have sexual relations with your son’s daughter or your daughter’s daughter; that would dishonor you. (Leviticus 18:10)
Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.(1 Corinthians 6:9-11)
Child abuse.
See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven. (Matthew 18:10)
Things that cause people to sin are bound to come, but woe to that person through whom they come. It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin. (Luke 17:1-2)
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4)
Spousal Abuse.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church–for we are members of his body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery–but I am talking about Christ and the chWives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. (Colossians 3:18-20)urch. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (Ephesians 5:25-32)
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. (Colossians 3:18-20)
